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It was simple, all Lucas had to do was actually make a film about the fabled "Clone Wars" which were first teased back in '77's A New Hope.Īlas, that was not to be. Rather than Rogue One, the sequel to The Phantom Menace had the opportunity to be the first to actually put the Wars into Star Wars. Somewhere, in a galaxy far far away, there's a film that starts with a young master Jedi and his precocious and arrogant Padawan chasing down a lead on the new emergence of the Sith, encountering a fallen Jedi who refuses to turn back from the Dark Side, and who sparks off a war between the Separatist droid armies and the Republic clone armies which tears through the universe, stretching the previously peaceful and honourable Jedi warriors to breaking point as they try to command men across an impossibly vast arena, in battles where, no matter the outcome, the mastermind behind them was sure to win. But if I never see this one again, I'll be fine.What could have been a great movie about arguably the greatest untold era in Star Wars lore - the 3 year Clone Wars - was instead another anticlimactic prologue replete with head-smackingly bad romance and some of the most wooden delivery in a saga hardly known for its acting. Seeing a bunch of Jedi at the end is cool, the worlds are unique, and Ewan McGregor is always good. There are glimmers of that Star Wars fun here and there.
A large chunk of this movie is just Anakin whining and complaining that things "aren't fair" in Christensen's dull monotone, and then aggressively cringey romantic scenes with him and Padme.
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Even when I've seen him in good movies, he's awful, I don't like him. That just makes it even more annoying when she falls head over heels for the angst king himself Anakin. God damn it do I hate Anakin and Padme! Padme's actually a more competent character than I remember her being, and I like seeing her hold her own in the action set pieces. Maybe they're making up for all the talking, but when stuff does go down, it's fun for a little while but gets boring fast. Some of the action pieces actually feel like they go on forever. When we do have action scenes, they're okay, but just okay. It all feels like exposition and set up for future entries rather than its own thing, and it just makes the movie kind of boring. I'll even make a modest defense for some of Anakin's moments of turning, like the bit with the Tusken Raiders that's actually more well put together than I remember. Jango Fett is still cool, if not a little underutilized.
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Obi Wan's investigating is a little more interesting, even if it all feels like vague set up for the inevitable TV show. But there are things in it that are okay, and better than I remember. Okay look, I spent years hating this movie and building up that loathing, and watching it again…yeah, it's earned. Just TRY to watch this again and tell me any other entry in the main saga didn't at least do SOMETHING better.
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To all the prequel apologists who say the sequel trilogy is the worst thing to happen to Star Wars, please, watch this movie again.